MY RANT FOR THE WEEK.
Yob culture…we have all heard of it, but where does it come from, certainly was not an element of my formative years.
All too often we hear the adults of today moaning about the “yob” culture, the disrespectfulness of todays youth…but why does this perception exist?? Where do the youngsters of today get it from???
I’ll let you into a secret…..they get it from those who more often than not complain about it. Yup, you got it, the pillars of society that set the example, the adult role models that our children look up to.
But, you ask, why would I say something like this, what on earth would make me think this to be true???? Experience!!!!
I recently took a bunch of youngsters to help marshal parking at a local event. Not any old youngsters but youngsters from one of the local cadet units. All neat and presentable in uniforms, reflective jackets and torches, they were prepared to give up their parade night, prepared to give up their time and commit themselves to giving something back to their community….and what thanks did they get….a thank you or a well done…..Not on your nelly. They got flak, not from kids their own age having a go, but by the “adults”. Verbal abuse second to none….moaned at, sworn at….no wonder the kids of today act like they do…they have perfect role models.

Little miss Muffet was no black belt…..

During a particularly strenuous work out, a martial arts instructor was overheard telling a female student “when you don a black belt you know no fear, no pain”
This got me thinking…..are women not supposed to be fearless, impervious to pain???
To us mere men, this is often presented as fact.
Face it how many times have you heard of the pains of childbirth.
Then there is waxing….I mean women pour hot wax on their bodies,
I shudder at the thought of applying a sticky tape to my legs and yanking the hairs out by the roots…..
It does not stop there. I’ve had two hernia ops, the sight of that nurse approaching very sensitive areas with sharp objects was enough to cause a very cold sweat, but women wield razor sharp blades around their nether regions with no more concern than they would show slicing a loaf of bread…..
It therefore stands to reason that for a woman to don a black belt in martial arts would be a simple thing to do….they ARE fearless

So why is then that they are scared of spiders??????

Abuse of power…
Through out history there are stories of abuse of power,
Whether it be by presidents, kings, queens, mere politicians of a member of your local traffic constabulary, somewhere sometime there will be a story of them abusing power….most will claim they were doing their job….were they.
I recently came across true abuse of power…..not by anyone famous; I don’t even know the culprit.
Despite the doctors who say otherwise, I AM in shape…the shape just happens to be round. But rolling around after a 6 year old is no fun, so I now watch the diet and get some exercise. I have taken to taking a late lunch, spending the time at the gym or on the squash court followed by a shower. By this time the canteen is closed so I treat my self to a Mueller Corner yogurt from the vending machine. After a particularly gruelling session, I popped the 50p into the vending machine..retrieved my yogurt and slumped into my chair, drooling at the anticipation of strawberry….only to find some miserable so and so had sellotaped a FORK to the package…Have you ever tried eating yogurt with a fork?????

Love, logic and denim jeans…

Ever been asked "do I look fat in this"????…do you lie???
Sometimes you do not even get asked the question….
The better half chucks her denim jeans in the wash….and as they always do, they shrink.
Your mates invite you round for a BBQ, you tell the better half….and she decides to wear jeans…..
Now because of the shrinkage, her jeans are difficult to put on and they feel tight. With typical reasoning the logic for this is that she has got fat…..
The logic extrapolates that because she has got fat, she is no longer attractive AND because she is no longer attractive, you do not love her anymore.
So off you go, with you getting the cold shoulder for something you do not have the foggiest idea about. The longer the evening, the colder the shoulder and inevitably the more beer you consume.
When you finally get home, the realisation that you are in the dog box sets in, logic dictates that “getting lucky” is out of the question so you roll over and go to sleep without even bothering to try for the rejection.
This of course reinforces the idea that you no longer find her attractive, because she has got fat and you therefore do not love her any more….
And all because she washed her jeans……

Bloody hangover....I thought I was past those, however after attending a charity dinner I came to the startling realization that there are those older than me that can still put the good stuff away in quantities guaranteed to deliver a monumental headache.....didn't help that I had to be up a sparrow fart on Sunday either.......

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