Me and health…..
You need to get into shape…….I am in shape, it just happens to be round. Besides I reckon it would be better to die young, fat and happy as opposed to old skinny and miserable.
Sometime ago I got summonsed to the local GP for a routine check-up.
“You need to lose weight” said the nurse…..I was still fuming when I got home….next to her I look anorexic. My wife asked if I had made any comments on the matter…..would you argue with a nurse whose arms are thicker than your legs?….To quote my youngest “I don’t think so.”
But I have heeded the warning…I have taken up exercise, gone on diet….and even lost inches, not where I need to around the middle but in stupid places like arms and legs.
Add insult to injury, my weight has gone up. Muscle is heavier than fat …..so what is the point in trying to lose weight through exercise, it isn’t going to happen.
Sit-ups do wonders for the gut I’m told…..but if muscles get bigger as they are exercised, it would be a reasonable assumption that exercising stomach muscles would make them bigger….and a bigger gut is the last thing I need.
Swimming is great…aerobic, good cardio vascular workout and low impact on the (already creaking) joints….have you seen the amount of blubber that comes off a whale…..???

So if exercise we must, then the following seems like a good plan,
SITUPS (in bed)
JUMPS (out of bed)
RUN AROUND THE BLOCK (kick it back under the bed when finished)
WEIGHTS (for the bathroom to become vacant) and,
SKIP (any other form of exercises)

And should the desire for any further exercise become overwhelming, sit down and wait for the feeling to go away……….